Realization
by A Girl Named Truth
Summary: She wished she could blame it on Owen, say he’d taken advantage of her, but she’d hardly been dragged kicking and screaming into his apartment, into his bed. Gwen/Owen, Gwen p.o.v. *ONESHOT*


**A/N: I wrote this a while ago, just after the end of series 1, and put it on LJ. Just thought I'd share it here too. Set just after Series 1, Episode 6 - Countrycide.**

**Dislaimer: I own nothing, all the BBC's and RTD's**

**Realization **

Gwen got out of Owen's bed, wrapped one of his sheets around her and went over the window to stare out of the window.

She looked out over the city, that's what Jack did whenever he had spare time, Gwen couldn't see the attraction of it.

All that there was out there got kinda boring after a while, every night there would be the same things, people rushing home in cars, police cars screaming past, the lights of the city, the noise of it. Sure there were different cars, different people but Gwen couldn't help feeling like the world was one of those pointless ant farm things.

She was disgusted at herself, for being drawn in by Owen, for letting herself be seduced, for being weak.

She couldn't remember what had made her think it was a good idea at the time. She was still in shock from the cannibal attack.

She wished she could blame it on Owen, say he'd taken advantage of her, but she'd hardly been dragged kicking and screaming into his apartment, into his bed.

She could see Owen coming towards her in the glass, but she still flinched at the sound of his voice, at his touch. He tried to wrap his arms around her waist like he'd done earlier, probably hoping that they would end up having sex again.

She cringed in his grasp and he withdrew his arms.

"Come back to bed" Owen said, his voice softer than she'd heard before but she still felt ashamed at what she'd done.

She shook her head gently.

"No…I need to go…Rhys will be worried" Gwen tried not to let her voice catch when she mentioned Rhys.

"you could call him, let him know you're fine" Owen said looking hopeful.

Gwen felt rage churning inside her stomach.

"oh sure," she mimed picking up a phone "hi, just called to say I won't be home tonight because I've shagged another bloke, but don't worry cause I'm fine. Yeah that will put his mind at rest."

Gwen could feel a lump rise in her throat, her eyes stung as he tried to keep back tears.

She barged past Owen, running into his bedroom, tears streaming down her face, picking up her discarded clothes as she went, running into the en-suite.

Gwen slammed then locked the door.

She put the seat down on the loo, before sitting down, clutching on to the sheet she was still wearing and cried until she felt like she had no more tears left.

Gwen reluctantly got dressed and looked in the mirror.

She groaned at the mess looking back at her, her face pink, puffy and tearstained, her eyes red and bloodshot and her hair looked like she'd been in the middle of a hurricane.

She turned the cold tap on and filled the sink with water. She splashed her face, gasping like she'd been slapped by the freezing water, it felt refreshing though so she did it again and again, each time the effect lessened.

She reached out for a hand towel and rubbed her face dry before yanking out the plug.

Her spare hairbrush was in her handbag, which she'd left in the bedroom in her hurry.

Deciding this was as good as it was going to get, Gwen slowly and silently opened the door. She wanted to get out of here with as little contact with Owen as possible.

She scurried over to where her handbag was and pulled out her brush. The some of the bristles caught on the zip of her make-up bag. She tried to tug it free but that just opened the zip and made all the make-up clatter to the floor.

"Fucking hell" Gwen cursed, dropping to her knees and scooping up various lip glosses and mascaras.

She glanced up just in time to see Owen lean against the door, frowning down at her.

"you going, then?" Owen said attempting to look indifferent.

"yes, I'm going…I can't stay here…I can't even look at you without feeling sick" Gwen said her gaze fixed on the floor.

"that's not the effect I had on you earlier, actually I'd say quite the opposite." Owen said arrogant streak shining through.

Gwen picked her brush and fiddled with it avoiding looking up at Owen.

He could see that obviously wasn't going to work, so he tried reverse psychology

"Fine, go back to _lacklustre_ Rhys, but I know who you'll wish you were with and sooner or later, on one of those cold rainy days, I know whose bed you'll come running to."

Gwen saw Owen duck and heard something clatter to the floor but her brain didn't register that she'd chucked her brush at him until she looked down at her now empty hands.

"You're wrong" Gwen's voice barely above a whisper.

"am I? Prove it then, walk out, go home."

Gwen pushed past him, through the door, not stopping for her coat.

She stormed down the street, before stopping and realising she was lost.

All the fires of rage had down leaving her feeling cold and vulnerable.

She flagged down a passing cab and told him where she wanted to go and as she sat in silence she realised, deep down, that Owen was right.


End file.
